On Christians Marrying Non-Christians

On Christians Marrying Non-Christians

From the “Mind Your Faith” blog by Doy Moyer.  Read more about it at http://www.mindyourfaith.com/1/post/2013/11/on-christians-marrying-non-christians.html 
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“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matt 6:33). 

This article is not an attempt to place any guilt trips on those already married. I understand the delicate situation. Yet I think that we sometimes are afraid to tackle the question, and I beg your careful consideration of the question: Should a Christian marry a non-Christian? 

What sets the child of God apart from the world, in action, is seeking first the kingdom of God (i.e., God’s rule, doing His will) and His righteousness. My question, when it comes to marriage, is this: should a Christian, who is to be seeking God’s rule first, join himself or herself to one in marriage, who is not seeking God’s rule first? Is this even compatible — seeking first God’s rule while joining myself in the most intimate of ways to one who is going the opposite direction? I’ve never been satisfied with a “yes” answer to that question (maybe you can be satisfied with it, but I have yet to figure out how that works). 

The problem is that a non-Christian has refused to submit himself to God’s rule, and this can spell trouble. Why? Because, it indicates that one is taking self over God. One of the most fundamental aspects of being a Christian is that of self-denial (Luke 9:23). But a non-Christian has refused this, which means that he has set a pattern of self-will for himself. There was a reason God told His covenant people under the Law of Moses not to intermarry with pagans. He knew their hearts would be led away if they did (see Deut 7:3-4). Shall this principle be ignored now? Do we find the danger of having our hearts turned away from God lessened today?

This is particularly problematic for the woman who marries a man who is not a Christian for the simple reason that marriage is a reflection of Christ and the church (Eph 5). The man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. This is difficult enough for one dedicated to the Lord. For one not dedicated to the Lord, he may show love, but he will not purposefully pattern his love after Christ. Is this what we want? 

What should be the first criterion for choosing a spouse? Should it be attraction and chemistry? Should it be that you like the same hobbies? Should it be that you laugh together and get along so well? What is the foundation of your relationship that will get you through life together, including all the difficult times and trials that will surely come your way? 

The Christian’s commitment is to please God in all things and to pursue holiness. Why wouldn’t it be that way in marriage, too? Therefore, the fundamental question to be asking is this: will this person help me serve the Lord and prepare myself for eternal life with God? I advise ladies to answer the question, “Will you marry me?” with “Only if you’ll help me serve God and go to heaven.” This puts the responsibility back onto the man to be the leader he is called to be, first and foremost in leading his family in the way of God. It seems axiomatic, does it not, that a non-Christian will be unable to do this since he has not committed himself to God’s rule above all else. 

“Are you saying that being married to a non-Christian is a sin?” No, and I am fully aware of the teaching in 1 Corinthians 7 on this. If you are married to a non-Christian, then you really are married and need to live out your commitment. Here I’m not really talking so much about already being married as much as I am talking about getting married. In other words, if you are already married, then you need to be dedicated to that marriage, no matter how difficult it may be or who you chose. The questions I am asking have to do with the attitude of one who is looking to get married, before the “I do’s” have been said. How careful are we being about the kind of spouse we choose? 

I also recognize that some are married to one who has since quit the Lord. That is, both were Christians at the time of courting and marrying, but now one has given up on the Lord. Again, the Lord has joined them together and the Christians must remain dedicated to making that work. 1 Peter 3:1-6 would certainly apply to both sets of circumstances. 

I am also fully aware that many have been converted to Christ after getting married. Praise the Lord for that! However, that still does not really address the fundamental point here. We cannot marry with the expectation of being able to convert a spouse, as if marrying a non-Christian is a form of evangelism (I’ve had that argument put to me before). Though there are many examples of post-marriage conversions, there are many others that have not seen such a pleasant outcome. Are we willing to risk it, and why? 

Then, there are the children. All children are precious and need proper care in growing and learning. The Christian’s task is to raise up a child in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph 6:4). The non-Christian does not have the same goals for children, and this creates a divide in training children. Even if the non-Christian agrees to let the Christian teach the children, the influence of both parents will be strong and divisive. Yes, some have been successful in spite of the circumstances, and I would praise those parents who have been able to do it, but do we want to enter the situation with such a risk in the first place? There are enough difficulties in raising children, given a culture that is antagonistic toward God and His people. Why would we willingly compound the difficulties? 

The Christian considering marrying a non-Christian needs to take a long, hard look at this. The problem is, once a person has fallen in love, many of those problems will likely be overlooked. My plea, even more, is to single Christians who are not dating anyone yet. Decide now that the person you will marry will be truly devoted to the Lord and in helping you in your spiritual journey toward God and eternal life with Him. 

Doy Moyer

See also, for more thoughts: On a Christian’s Commitment in Marriage

 

Shanah Tovah!

Still trying to keep up with Trent and Rebekah!

Footnote 25 — Harvard Magazine: The Power of Patience: Teaching students…

Footnote 25 — Jennifer L. Roberts, The Power of Patience: Teaching students the value of deceleration and immersive attention, Harvard Magazine (November-December 2013).

Read more at: http://harvardmagazine.com/2013/11/the-power-of-patience

Editor’s note: The Harvard Initiative for Learning and Teaching (HILT) conference last May asked participants to ponder the following framing question: “In this time of disruption and innovation for universities, what are the essentials of good teaching and learning?” At the conference, after a panel of psychologists had discussed aspects of the “science of learning,” three speakers addressed the “art of teaching”—among them then professor of history of art and architecture Jennifer L. Roberts (now Elizabeth Cary Agassiz professor of the humanities), who also chairs the doctoral program in American Studies. She confessed limited exposure to education theory, and then proceeded to provide a vivid demonstration of deep humanistic education and learning, drawn from her own teaching in the history of art, but with broader applications. Although she makes broad use of digital technology in her teaching, she feels that it is also essential to give students experience in modes of attentive discipline that run directly counter to the high-speed, technologically assisted pedagogies emerging in the digital era—and to the experiences and expectations of contemporary students. Roberts adapted the following text from her HILT presentation.

I‘M NOT SURE there is such a thing as teaching in general, or that there is truly any essential teaching strategy that can be abstracted from the various contexts in which it is practiced. So that we not lose sight of the disciplinary texture that defines all teaching, I want to offer my comments today in the context of art history—and in a form that will occasionally feel like an art-history lesson.

During the past few years, I have begun to feel that I need to take a more active role in shaping the temporal experiences of the students in my courses; that in the process of designing a syllabus I need not only to select readings, choose topics, and organize the sequence of material, but also to engineer, in a conscientious and explicit way, the pace and tempo of the learning experiences. When will students work quickly? When slowly? When will they be expected to offer spontaneous responses, and when will they be expected to spend time in deeper contemplation?

I want to focus today on the slow end of this tempo spectrum, on creating opportunities for students to engage in deceleration, patience, and immersive attention. I would argue that these are the kind of practices that now most need to be actively engineered by faculty, because they simply are no longer available “in nature,” as it were. Every external pressure, social and technological, is pushing students in the other direction, toward immediacy, rapidity, and spontaneity—and against this other kind of opportunity. I want to give them the permission and the structures to slow down.

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DECELERATION, then, is a productive process, a form of skilled apprehension that can orient students in critical ways to the contemporary world. But I also want to argue that it is an essential skill for the understanding and interpretation of the historical world. Now we’re going to go into the art-history lesson, which is a lesson about the formative powers of delay in world history.

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And this is actually a lesson with much wider implications for anyone involved in the teaching or learning of history. In the thousands of years of human history that predated our current moment of instantaneous communication, the very fabric of human understanding was woven to some extent out of delay, belatedness, waiting. All objects were made of slow time in the way that Copley’s painting concretizes its own situation of delay. I think that if we want to teach history responsibly, we need to give students an opportunity to understand the formative values of time and delay. The teaching of history has long been understood as teaching students to imagine other times; now, it also requires that they understand different temporalities. So time is not just a negative space, a passive intermission to be overcome. It is a productive or formative force in itself.

GIVEN ALL THIS, I want to conclude with some thoughts about teaching patience as a strategy. The deliberate engagement of delay should itself be a primary skill that we teach to students. It’s a very old idea that patience leads to skill, of course—but it seems urgent now that we go further than this and think about patience itself as the skill to be learned. Granted—patience might be a pretty hard sell as an educational deliverable. It sounds nostalgic and gratuitously traditional. But I would argue that as the shape of time has changed around it, the meaning of patience today has reversed itself from its original connotations. The virtue of patience was originally associated with forbearance or sufferance. It was about conforming oneself to the need to wait for things. But now that, generally, one need not wait for things, patience becomes an active and positive cognitive state. Where patience once indicated a lack of control, now it is a form of control over the tempo of contemporary life that otherwise controls us. Patience no longer connotes disempowerment—perhaps now patience is power.

If “patience” sounds too old-fashioned, let’s call it “time management” or “temporal intelligence” or “massive temporal distortion engineering.” Either way, an awareness of time and patience as a productive medium of learning is something that I feel is urgent to model for—and expect of—my students.

Read more at: http://harvardmagazine.com/2013/11/the-power-of-patience

A HYMN FOR TODAY – Give Me the Wings of Faith to Rise

A HYMN FOR TODAY

Give me the wings of faith to rise
Within the veil, and see
The saints above, how great their joys,
How bright their glories be.
Once they were mourning here below,
And drenched their couch with tears:
They wrestled hard, as we do now,
With sins and doubts and fears.

I ask them whence their vict’ry came;
They, with united breath,
Ascribe their conquest to the Lamb,
Their triumph to His death.
Our glorious leader claims our praise
For His own pattern giv’n,
While yet His cloud of witnesses
Show the same path to heav’n.

CMD (8.6.8.6.D) – Isaac Watts, 1707

Tune: FOREST GREEN – English Folk Tune
arr. Ralph Vaughan Williams, 1906, alt.

#726 in Psalms, Hymns, and Spiritual Songs, 2012

This hymn was originally written as four CM verses, now combined to make two CMD verses to fit the music of the folk tune, FOREST GREEN, arranged by Ralph Vaughn Williams.

mp3 for “I Could Not Do Without You”

mp3 for “I Could Not Do Without You”

This hymn has been posted before, but now there’s an mp3 for the listening:

https://soundcloud.com/joshamck/i-could-not-do-without-you/s-Oq7lA.  Thank you, Josh.

A HYMN FOR TODAY

I could not do without You,
O Savior of the lost,
Whose precious blood redeemed me
At such tremendous cost.
Your righteousness, Your pardon
Your precious blood must be
My only hope and comfort,
My glory and my plea.

I could not do without You;
I cannot stand alone,
I have no strength or goodness,
No wisdom of my own;
But You, beloved Savior,
Are near in all I do,
And weakness will be power
If leaning hard on You.

I could not do without You,
For, oh, the way is long,
And I am often weary,
And sigh replaces song:
How could I do without You?
I do not know the way;
You know, Lord, and You lead me
And will not let me stray.

I could not do without You,
For years are fleeting fast,
And soon in solemn oneness
The river must be passed;
But You will never leave me,
And though the waves roll high,
I know You will be near me
And whisper, “It is I.”

7.6.7.6.D – Frances R. Havergal, 1873
Tune: ELBERT – C.E. Couchman, 2009
No. 313 in _Psalms, Hymns, and Spiritual Songs_, 2012

A HYMN FOR TODAY – The Earth and the Riches

A HYMN FOR TODAY

The earth and the riches with which it is stored,

The world and its dwellers belong to the Lord:

For He on the seas its foundation has laid,

And firm on the waters its pillars has stayed.

 

O who shall the mount of Jehovah ascend?

Or who in the place of His holiness stand?

The man of pure heart and of hands without stain,

Who has not sworn falsely nor loved what is vain.

 

O gates, lift your heads! Ageless doors, lift them high!

The great King of glory to enter draws nigh!

This great King of glory, O who can He be?

This great King of glory, Jehovah is He!

 

11.11.11.11 – Psalm 24:1-4, 7-10

From Rippon’s Selection of Hymns, 1787

Tune: AFFECTION – E.F. Miller, ca. 1880

#47 in Psalms, Hymns, and Spiritual Songs

Footnote 24 — The Archbishop of Atheism

Footnote 24 — Isaac Chotiner, “The Archbishop of Atheism, New Republic (November 11, 2013), p. 27.

Interesting comments from the New Republic interview with Richard Dawkins by Isaac Chotiner – loathe as I am to give Dawkins more publicity, you can read more about it at

 http://www.newrepublic.com/article/115339/richard-dawkins-interview-archbishop-atheism

IC: People talk about “new atheism.”8 Is there something new about it?

RD: No, there isn’t. Nothing that wasn’t in Bertrand Russell or probably Robert Ingersoll. But I suppose it is more of a political effect, in that all these books happened to come out at the same time. I like to think that we have some influence.

IC: Sometimes when I read the so-called new atheists, there’s almost a certain intellectual respect for the fundamentalist thinkers. For being more intellectually coherent.

RD: I’m interested you noticed that. There’s an element of paradox there—that at least you know where you stand with the fundamentalists. I mean, they’re absolutely clear in their error and their stupidity, and so you can really go after them. But the so-called sophisticated theologians, especially ones who are very nice, like Rowan Williams and Jonathan Sacks, you sometimes don’t quite know where you are with them. You feel that when you attack them, you’re attacking a wet sponge.

8  This term is generally applied to the work of Dawkins, Sam Harris, Daniel Dennett, and Christopher Hitchens, but it does not have a meaning that is substantively

From “The Archbishop of Atheism,” New Republic, November 11, 2013 (p. 27 of the print edition).

The Erastus inscription at Corinth

Ferrell Jenkins's avatarFerrell's Travel Blog

Even though the relationship between the Apostle Paul and the Corinthians was always a strained one, we know the names of numerous saints at Corinth who were helpful to Paul in his ministry.

Paul calls attention to a person named Erastus who was a “city treasurer.” He would be one of the few (“not many”) Christians who were among the socially elite at Corinth (1 Corinthians 1:26). A person named Erastus is mentioned three times in the New Testament. Whether these are two or three different persons, or all the same person, I do not know. Here are the biblical references:

  1. “And having sent into Macedonia two of his helpers, Timothy and Erastus, he himself stayed in Asia for a while.” (Acts 19:22 ESV)
  2. “Gaius, who is host to me and to the whole church, greets you. Erastus, the city treasurer, and our brother Quartus, greet you.” (Romans 16:23 ESV)…

View original post 254 more words

A HYMN FOR TODAY – I Could Not Do Without You

A HYMN FOR TODAY

I could not do without You,
O Savior of the lost,
Whose precious blood redeemed me
At such tremendous cost.
Your righteousness, Your pardon
Your precious blood, must be
My only hope and comfort,
My glory and my plea.

I could not do without You;
I cannot stand alone;
I have no strength or goodness,
No wisdom of my own;
But You, beloved Savior,
Are near in all I do,
And weakness will be power
If leaning hard on You.

I could not do without You,
For, oh, the way is long,
And I am often weary,
And sigh replaces song:
How could I do without You?
I do not know the way;
You know, Lord, and You lead me
And will not let me stray.

I could not do without You,
For years are fleeting fast,
And soon in solemn oneness
The river must be passed;
But You will never leave me,
And though the waves roll high,
I know You will be near me
And whisper, “It is I.”

7.6.7.6.D – Frances R. Havergal, 1873

Tune: ELBERT – C.E. Couchman, 2003

#313 in Psalms, Hymns, and Spiritual Songs, 2012

Promoting the Gospel Through Meetup

Promoting the Gospel Through Meetup

Promoting the Gospel Through Meetup

de Verbo Vitae = concerning the Word of life

Perhaps one of the greatest paradoxes of the Internet is how it allows people to connect with each other and yet also isolates them. One can have thousands of friends on Facebook without meeting most of them, maintaining superficial relationships. One can follow famous people on Twitter and feel a sense of connection that does not exist in reality. Many churches offer some form of “e-church” experience which allows one to seem to participate along with a group of Christians while remaining in the confines of their own home.

Nevertheless, virtual relationships remain just that: virtual. Humans, as created in God’s image, are designed to be around each other and to share in actual, substantive community (Genesis 1:26-27Romans 1:19-21). The church, as the body of Christ, represents the environment in which Christians jointly participate in their shared faith (Romans 12:3-81 Corinthians 12:12-28). The Gospel is not about perpetuating alienation and isolation but instead the reconciliation of all men with God and with each other in Christ (John 17:20-23Romans 5:6-11). This is why it is good to remember that all Gospel promotion on the Internet should not be to its own end. Virtual Gospel promotion must ultimately point a person not only toward becoming a Christian but also toward real life participation with Christians and a congregation of the Lord’s people. Jesus did not set up a virtual church, but a real-life one.

To this end, Meetup represents a great opportunity and venue for the advancement of the Kingdom of God. Meetup exists to help foster and strengthen community in real life: an “organizer” sets up a Meetup group which will feature events in which members can get together and share in a common cause, event, or project. Examples include informational meetings for clubs, planned hikes, and volunteering events. Yet there is no hindrance to having groups and events for spiritual purposes, since they are also designed to foster and strengthen community in real life.

A congregation or an individual could therefore organize a Meetup group in order to promote the Gospel. The group could be used to advertise a congregation’s existing Bible study and assembly times; it could also be used to promote a group Bible study designed for members of the community.

Meetup therefore provides the opportunity to direct people in the community toward participation with Christians in Bible studies and assemblies. People do search Meetup for Bible studies and assemblies and prove willing to visit. Meetup is free to join but costs about $150 a year ($12/month) to host a group.

People today are acutely aware of the isolating tendencies of modern life and hunger and thirst for reconciliation with God and jointly participate with their fellow humans. The Gospel is designed to meet this need (Romans 1:16-185:6-11), and we do well to promote it in ways that lead to greater association among people in Christ. Meetup can be one way by which to do so. Let us continue to promote the Gospel within the community in order to build up the body of Christ!

ELDV

– See more at: http://www.deverbovitae.com/articles/promotinggospelmeetup#sthash.4wUk15Dc.dpuf